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Shock Exclusive: Breakaway autonomy fashion spreads to Argentina

If there's one thing that worries the typical Argentine more than anything else, it's the neurosis of being up to date, in style, on the cutting edge.....put simply, in fashion. So as soon as they heard about the new fad of autonomous states and breakaway governments in neighbouring countries, they must have felt pretty left out.

Not to worry, as their chance to jump on the bandwagon wasn't long in arriving. This Sunday, Argentina adjusts its clocks forward by one hour for its summer period, but there are five rebel regions, namely Mendoza, San Juan, San Luis, Catamarca and La Rioja (all on the western Andean side of the country) who are kicking up a gawdawful fuss about the "dictatorial measure" handed down to them from Buenos Aires (some detail about the sun not setting til me why they're worried, personally, as until you've been drinking in Inverness Scotland all evening and staggered out of the bar at 11:30pm to be greeted by bright sunlight, you haven't lived). Mendoza, being the local equivalent of Bolivia's Santa Cruz, is leading the charge and has already made it clear it will not put its clocks forward. The other four are pretty certain to fall in line behind its glorious leader.

But this is not all, as IncaKola has found that the move to rebel against the national dictate is just the tip of the iceberg. In this map obtained from the government house of San Luis (by doing some serious hacking last night), we can reveal that the region is planning a full breakaway and declaration of independence. The new state has provisionally been named Boludestan, and will hold the rest of Argentina to ransom by blocking all deliveries of wine to the East. Experts have already estimated that the money Boludestan could raise from export tax on its fermented grape juice will quickly make it the richest state in Latin America.