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6/24/13

Tip sheet for journalists on Ecuador

It's one of those rare occasions when the Very Important Countries turn their steely gaze to this backwater corner of the world and we're about to get a whole bunch of ridiculous drivel balanced and fair reports about one of them there countries down there in that there South America. So as a public service and to help cut a few corners for those journalists who have just been handed an assignment, IKN offers a few tips and ideas about Ecuador.

1) It is not spelled with a Q
2) When it comes to the capital city, don't say 'Kweetowh', say "Keeto". A bit like Keno but with a different consonant in the middle, ok guys?
3) Check out the China investment angle (copper mine, hydroelectric dams, oil industry), cherrypick a few stats and you'll soon have your Commie angle worked out.
4) No, Correa is not gay, he's married with kids. He's just way better looking than you are, you fat slob hack.
5) Remember to insert the phrase "freedom of the press" in every single report you file, else it will be spiked by your editor.
6) And don't forget to mention the crime rate, but don't for the life of you point out that it's no worse than anywhere else in South America (and the only real problem areas are in the Capital). No need for balance, none of your readers are ever going to actually visit the place after all.
7) Ecuador's inflation at 3% is under control, unemployment at 4.6% is the best in The Americas. GDP growth is strong. Suggest luck.
8) If you're one of the lucky ones who gets to fly down before filing a report, tell your bosses that basing yourself in Guayaquil would be much smarter than being in Quito, what with that being the business zone, home to middle class etc. (pssst...hint...nice beaches, fruity rum punches).