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Dear John Youle of Consultandes

Dear John,

It beats me why you're so interested about little old me but hey, that's your problem. However, what I do recommend is that rather than trying to play at espionage (which you're obviously not very good at) for the risk firm* that hired you to find out information, why don't you just drop me a line and ask me a few questions yourself? I don't bite, y'know.

Because unlike you, I have nothing to hide and I'm not being paid on the sly by anybody.

Lots of love, Otto.

*I won't mention their name yet, but I'm sure 'JR' and 'RW' are going to be very interested in this post. Seriously John, wouldn't it be better to talk to me directly rather than having the name of the risk management company that's hiring you get dragged into this?